So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
