all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
