how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
