so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She's the barista slut.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
