I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize