Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
