Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
