Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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