some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
