Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
