I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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