and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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