It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
