that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
