i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
