If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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