Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I look better un-naked...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
