So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
