btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
