Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Please don't give away my fajitas
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
