how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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