If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
