obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
