using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Semen is not good for contacts.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
