Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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