Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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