weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
