It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
