"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
