summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
