btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize