That's intense
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
