it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
love makes seman taste better
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
