Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
