Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Imaria hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport

Fav 20 7064 1195
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.

Fav 14 2981 1248
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.

Fav 4 3054 938
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team

Fav 8 3474 888
share tweet
(818): View more from California

The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.

Fav 18 6434 923
share tweet
(618): View more from Illinois

Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.

Fav 5 2060 740
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(352): View more from Florida

Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it

Fav 2 779 1113
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.

Fav 3 506 338
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts

Fav 0 23 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT