I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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