imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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