The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
