She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
