Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
