I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
