hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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