Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
