Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
