she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
