Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
