toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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