just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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