have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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