I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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