I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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