dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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