Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
