I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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