As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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