porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
