proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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