So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
