Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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