My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize